Yesterday was Lorelai’s scheduled MRI Urogram at Children’s Hospital, Los Angeles.
We arrived at Children’s at 6:30 a.m. for a scheduled appointment at 7:30 am- the first of the day. So, everything went quickly and was right on time. She was first looked at by a Nurse Practitioner where she ws weighed, had her temperature taken…all the normal vitals and medical history documented. We got her into her hospital gown, and she played with some toys while the N.P. checked her out.
Then, we went into the prep area where our poor little girl cried painful tears when they inserted an I.V. into her right hand and then flushed the unit with saline (which hurt even more). I held her while they did the procedure, and SG stood beside us. We were all in tears. It is so difficult to watch someone inflict pain on your baby, when all you want to do is save her from it. They then tied her little arm up to a short board to keep her from bending her wrist, and then wrapped the entire lower arm and hand in a towel, to keep her from pulling out the I.V. The poor thing was so upset about all of it. And, it killed us that we couldn’t explain what was happening to her. She’s so aware of everything around her now. But, she’s still too young to understand why they were doing what they were doing, and why mommy and daddy were letting them. All we could do was comfort her with hugs and kisses and let her know we understood she was hurting and scared.
We had a talk with the Anesthesiologist, who promised to try and hold back the amount of propofol they used to sedate her this time. Last time she had an MRI, she had a very difficult time coming out of the sedation. And, that had scared us. For those wondering why she needed to be sedated, it is a necessary evil for children this young. An MRI requires that the patient stay completely still for the entire 2 hour procedure. So, little children are forced to be put to sleep and temporarily paralyzed to prevent them from disrupting the imaging.
We said goodbye to her daddy (since only one of us could bring her into the MRI) where we met another group of the staff. I was instructed to hold her as the anesthesiologist attached some tubing to her I.V., and administered the propofol. I tried to keep it together as Lorelai looked around the room and gazed at the big MRI machine. She was scared. And as the propofol went into her arm, she screamed in pain. Within a couple of seconds, she fell limp and I had to hold up her heavy head since her neck muscles had given in. I then put her down on the table and was asked to leave the room. Lorelai was then prepped with a catheter and all the necessary components to keep watch of her vitals while being sedated.
Tears were streaming down my face as I left her. I hated every second of what we just saw her go through. And now, we had to wait 2 hours before we could see her again.
SG and I attempted to stay calm. I could tell he was upset, as he became very quiet. And I was an endless fountain of tears. It felt strange to spend so much time without her. And, each time I thought of her sweet face, I’d start to weep all over again. I love her so very much. And, before having her, I never knew love could be this strong or painful.
We ate. We had coffee. We paced back and forth. And, we looked at the clock every few minutes to see how much time had passed. We finally were able to find a little distraction when we stumbled into the gift shop and chose a little purse and stuffed dog to give her when she got out.
The hospital had given us a pager and it would light up and vibrate when she was ready for us to come get her. At exactly 2 hours after the procedure began, SG took out the pager and put it on the table in front of us. We stared at it, impatiently waiting. And within minutes, the red lights started flashing and buzzing, and we jumped to our feet and started walking furiously to the radiology department.
We were relieved to find a very healthy, yet drugged out little girl. She still couldn’t hold her head up, or focus her eyes. But, we could tell she was fine. Over the course of a few minutes, she started to come out of the sedation more and more and was soon sitting up with assistance and drinking some juice. All of her vitals were fine. And, since she was able to swallow (a requirement before releasing her) they sent her home with us.
As we carried her out of the hospital and to the car, she started to get combative. We had a lot of trouble getting her into her car seat with all the wiggling, complaining, kicking and flailing of her arms. But, that state of recovery went by quickly and she was soon relaxed during the ride home. It took a couple of hours before she was back to her old self. And by this morning, was as active and talkative as ever.
We are currently waiting to hear from her urologist about the results. I am normally anxious as we wait for any results regarding her kidney. But, since this result will determine the date of her surgery, I’m in no hurry to find out. He can take a year to call us back, for all I care.